Clinton (ravincheshire) wrote in obnoxiousness,

Jokes I found today

A Catholic nun was standing on the side of the street in New York when a cabbie picked her up.
The nun got in and the cabbie couldn't help but to stare at her.
"What is it my child, why do you stare?" she asked.
The cabbied quickly shifted his eyes and cleared his throat and slowly spoke.
"Sister can I ask you a personal question?"
"Sister have you ever thought about having sex?" he asked.
"oh yes son I have from time to time thought about it."
"Sister would you ever consider having sex"
"Well I would if the man was catholic, unwed, and didn't have any children."
Well, Sister," the cabbie said with a big smile on his face, " I am all those things. Would you have sex with ME?"
The nun thought about it then gave her reply.
"Son, I would love to have sex with you."
The cabbie sat there for a minute and then he replied.
"Sister, I wouldn't want you to break any vows, you could just give me a blow job. Would that be okay with you"
The nun agreed and the got into the front seat and did the dirty deed, then climbed into the backseat, when the cabbie smiling from ear to ear said,
"Sister I have a confession to make, I am protestant, married and have four kids,"
The nun looked at him in amazement and said,
"That's okay I have a confession too, my name is Steve and I am on my way to a costume party."

Three guys walk in to a bar and sit down one was black, one was white and the other was mexican.A stripper comes up and says, "If any of you guys can make a sentence out of liver and cheese we will go to your place." The black guy says my wife likes cheese and I like liver. The white guy says my wife likes liver and I like cheese. She says no to both and the mexican gets up, grabs her hand and says " 'Liver alone 'cheese coming with me......

Whats the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball

one day this little boys parents were in there room fighting and ther little boy was listening. the dad calles the mom a bitch and the mom calles the dad a bastard. the boy askes his parents what that means they said it is what you call a boy and girl. ok he said and ran off to bed.
The next day was thanks giving and the boys family was comeing over. While his parents were getting ready he was waching his dad shave and cut himself shit he said and the boy asked what that ment he told him it was the saveing cream so he said ok and left. Then he went down to the kichen were his mom was cutting the turky and accidentaly cut herself and said fuck. the little boy asked what fuck meant she told him it was what you call cutting a turky at that moment the door bell rang it was his family. as he opend the door he said come on in all you bitches and bastards dads in the bathroom shaving shit off his face and moms in the kichen fucking the turkey.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment